“In the name of the holy mother Inanna and her consort Erishkegal, I pray for blessing on you all. The purpose of the Religion Committee is to make sure that through various media outlets, we are able to influence people’s thinking while keeping them oblivious to other matters which the chair people of the other committees will be involved in. Our committee is already proud to announce that we have formed an organization with other religious
factions which have been successful in making sure that gay marriage is defeated in various states. This is important for us since it will cause division between both proponents of this issue. We have donated money and strategies to this organization without our Temple being named and, without their knowing it, financing a film which will give their names as the leaders of this issue. We are not really anti-gay marriage in our outlook, but we feel that by having other religious institutions leading the way against gay marriage that they will look bad and we, in the end, will appear to be the saviors of our society. Now, as to what we have currently decided on. Fear is a powerful force in just about every religion and we plan to exploit that fear to its full potential. Some of you may have noticed that there has been a rise in the number of ‘conspiracy theories’. We think that by diverting the masses towards these theories that we will be able to create a more pliable society. Therefore, we are proposing to finance more forms of media to promote the following theories: 1.) The Maya Prophecy, 2.) Extraterrestrial visitations, 3.) Armaggedon, and one of my all time favorites, 4.) the Bildenburg Conference, and least I forget, 5.) the Illuminati and 6.) The Georgia Guide Stones. There are a few minor suggestions that were brought up in committee but we have decided to go with these for now, besides some of the suggestions fell within the parvenu of the other committees. We will require a $1000 donation from each of you in order to help offset some of these costs. In order to prevent any outsiders from snooping into our finances, each table will be given the name of a ‘charity’ run by the Temple as a cover to which your checks may be donated. With this being said, I pray that Namshub, the Protector, watch over us all.” Brother Juniper then returned to his seat as Levitsky returned to the dais.